Friday, September 12, 2014

10 Reminders about Mental Illness



I recently shared with my congregation part of my personal history dealing with mental illness. Mental illness runs in my family and I have been dealing my bipolar illness for many years.

Some days are easier than others.

One of the reasons I shared my story was to share with people that though mental illness is terrible, there still can be hope. I have hope in the future, rooted in my faith in God.

In addition to encouraging people to have hope, I also wanted to remind everyone about ten important facts about mental illness. I’m going to share those with you now.

1. Having a chemical imbalance is a medical condition, not a state of weakness or sign of emotional frailty. It is similar to having cancer or Parkinson’s. You wouldn’t walk up to someone who is battling ALS and say “you’re weak.”

2. There is no cure for mental illness, only treatment. And though treatment is improving, there’s still a lot to be desired.

3. There is no one medication that works for everyone, or that works for everyone in the same way. There is no “magic pill” that makes everything cupcakes and rainbows. Every person’s body is unique and no medication is going to work the same way for everyone.

4. People suffering with mental illness need Jesus, but having a relationship with Jesus is not going to “fix” everything. Please don’t tell people that having a relationship with Jesus is going to make all their dreams come true. Being a Christ-follower does not excuse us from the hardships of life; it does, however, give us a hope, joy and purpose for living.

5. Having a mental illness does not indicate a sinful life or a life far from God. In fact, many people in Scripture suffered from depression. David, Jeremiah, Elijah, for example. Listen to what Jeremiah says in Jeremiah 20:14-18: “Yet I curse the day I was born! May no one celebrate the day of my birth. I curse the messenger who told my father, “Good news—you have a son!” Let him be destroyed like the cities of old that the Lord overthrew without mercy. Terrify him all day long with battle shouts, because he did not kill me at birth. Oh, that I had died in my mother’s womb, that her body had been my grave! Why was I ever born? My entire life has been filled with trouble, sorrow, and shame.”

That sounds like a man who was suffering from depression. Read through David’s Psalms and hear the depression cycle in his life. And he was a “man after God’s own heart.”

6. You did not cause the chemical imbalance. This one is to remind both families and sufferers. Parents, especially, don’t blame yourself for your child’s illness. And for those suffering, you don’t need to blame yourself either. There’s nothing you do to cause these imbalances. However, that doesn’t mean we can’t do things to help ourselves fight.

7. You cannot fix the chemical imbalance. Families, hear this. As a person suffering with mental illness, I know that you have the best intentions with me, but please know that you’re not going to be able to do something or say something to “fix” me. There are things you can do to help support my treatment, but it’s bigger than both of us.

8. People with chemical imbalances often try to self-medicate with alcohol or drugs. Thankfully I never personally struggled with either of these things, but I know many who have.

9. The best thing you can do for a person with a mental illness is pray for them and stand by them during their difficult times. That will be hard. When we are suffering in the lowest of lows, when things are really down, it’s sometimes hard for people to be around us. We don’t make it easy to love us – and that’s part of what mental illness does to us. Having mental illness doesn’t give us carte blanche to be a jerk, but know that it’s not going to be easy to stand by us.

10. There is a lot of shame and misinformation surrounding mental illness. People who suffer are ashamed, and people who love us are ashamed as well. Let’s stop the shame cycle and allow those who are suffering a place to come and be heard and get help. 

If you’d like to ask me specific questions, feel free to ask.

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Feeling Blah

I thought things were starting to look up, but today is another day of feeling blah.

I do really well for a little bit, and then just get so distracted from what I'm supposed to be doing.

I don't want to see people or even leave the house. I really would like to just sleep for a bit.

This makes me think that even my new med change might not do the trick to get me out of this slump. I mean, I know that it will swing the other way at some point, I just don't know when.

I'm hopeful that this swing will happen soon. I've lost a lot of time and productivity at work and at home. I have important meetings tonight and later this week that I'm not prepared for. Honestly, I don't know how I'm going to get prepared for them. I suppose I'll just have to try to muster up the energy to do what needs to be done.

That's easier said than done.

I haven't lost all faith - I know it will be better - I'm just getting impatient.

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Rough Days

I'm currently in a bit of a down-spell. I guess that's what I'm going to call it. My doctor changed my meds back to what I was on before (as I wanted), but it takes time for things to get back in sync.

I'm feeling a bit alone right now, and maybe that's why I decided to pick up on this blog that no one really knows about or reads. I just need to get out of my head.

I'm not feeling particularly useful to society at this moment. I just want to sleep or watch TV or play Family Feud on Facebook.

I can't seem to focus on any one task for longer than about 30 minutes, and even then it's a real struggle.

Two Sundays ago I shared my personal testimony regarding mental illness. I shared about some of the downs and some of the progress I've made. What I didn't share was how hard it still is a lot of the time to just function.

I know that this depression - there I called it what it is - will pass. That's the blessing/curse of bipolar disorder - the moods fluctuate. But it still doesn't really help right NOW.

I want to talk to people about this; I want to be open; but I still can't quite be open and honest with people about the current struggles - just the past. I don't know why that is - it doesn't make a lot of logical sense.

I know that I'll be OK. I know that the medication adjustment will kick in in a few days/weeks and I'll be back to feeling "normal." It's just a matter of making it through this time without completely falling apart.