Rough Days

I'm currently in a bit of a down-spell. I guess that's what I'm going to call it. My doctor changed my meds back to what I was on before (as I wanted), but it takes time for things to get back in sync.

I'm feeling a bit alone right now, and maybe that's why I decided to pick up on this blog that no one really knows about or reads. I just need to get out of my head.

I'm not feeling particularly useful to society at this moment. I just want to sleep or watch TV or play Family Feud on Facebook.

I can't seem to focus on any one task for longer than about 30 minutes, and even then it's a real struggle.

Two Sundays ago I shared my personal testimony regarding mental illness. I shared about some of the downs and some of the progress I've made. What I didn't share was how hard it still is a lot of the time to just function.

I know that this depression - there I called it what it is - will pass. That's the blessing/curse of bipolar disorder - the moods fluctuate. But it still doesn't really help right NOW.

I want to talk to people about this; I want to be open; but I still can't quite be open and honest with people about the current struggles - just the past. I don't know why that is - it doesn't make a lot of logical sense.

I know that I'll be OK. I know that the medication adjustment will kick in in a few days/weeks and I'll be back to feeling "normal." It's just a matter of making it through this time without completely falling apart.